I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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