talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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