I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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