yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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