She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
