as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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