i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize