i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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