Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
