I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just high enough for therapy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
