Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
