May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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