She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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