my vag is so smooth its legendary
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
