so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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