Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
