Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
