We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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