Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
