Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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