At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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