If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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