I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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