this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
