Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize