Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
