swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
