She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
