you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
