My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
