yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
