Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
