I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
