they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
