I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
