Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
