come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize