he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i believe in u and ur pee
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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