don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The best revenge is premature balding
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
