jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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