You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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