Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
