And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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