I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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