I didn't shave. On purpose
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
