I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
