Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Even my vagina gasped.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
