butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Acid is not a monday night drug
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
