I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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