Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
