First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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