Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
