the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
