He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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