love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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