did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
