It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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