I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
