What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
