just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
