dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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