at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
