After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
