pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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