You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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