dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
