Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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