I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm sobbing to NWA
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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