I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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