Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize