well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
