They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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