The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Im part way to drunk.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
