i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
love makes seman taste better
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
