You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
